Weigh In

All in all this past week has gone well. I’ve had some “Sweet Jesus, please don’t put that in your mouth!” moments, but I’ve managed to avoid eating anything that is outside of my goals. Plus, I’ve increased the intensity of my workouts.

This week’s results:
11/14/13 - 236.4
11/21/2013 - 235

Part of me really wants to see this happen faster. However, I know from experience that faster isn’t better. I’ll take my 1.4 pound loss and count it as a victory. I’m making progress. That’s all that matters.

'Tis the Season

Christmas is in full swing in all the stores (at least here in America). It puts me in the Christmas spirit and makes me want to start decorating now. Unfortunately, by the time Christmas actually gets here I’m totally over it. Being pumped up for Christmas for a solid two months is exhausting. I really wish they would put the holiday back where it belongs in December. Give Thanksgiving a chance, man.

Thinking Christmas makes me think about Christmas food -- chocolate boxes, cheese platters, fudge, pies, chocolate-covered-everything, cookies, and cakes. Starting a diet life style change just before the holidays is probably crazy.

I know everyone from my mom to my friends to diet experts say that you shouldn’t deprive yourself, that minor cheats in moderation are good. There’s a very simple problem here. If I could eat in moderation, I wouldn’t be fat.

I’m a binge eater. One single piece of chocolate can send me into an eating frenzy for days. Then I feel bad about myself. Then I give up on eating healthy. Then I gain 20 pounds. It’s like telling a recovering coke addict, “One line won’t hurt you.” Oh, it hurts. It hurts bad.

No, having cheat days really aren’t an option for me, at least not yet. I would love to get to a point where I can have some naughty, tasty, little treat every now and then, but I’m not remotely close to the point where I could do it responsibly. I know my trigger foods and I know to avoid them.

I’m debating how to approach the holiday situation now. I want to be prepared. I want a plan.

Thanksgiving dinner I can handle well enough. We usually keep it small. I eat homemade tofurkey, anyway. I’ll just have to hold back on the mashed potatoes (I can eat piles of them). I’ll find a healthy alternative to pumpkin pie. I got this.

It’s Christmas that could kick my butt. Luckily, my family does Christmas at my house, so I have a lot of control over what’s served. We don’t have a big Christmas dinner. We do plates and plates of appetizers (appetizers are my favorite kind of food). At least it’s easier to healthify appetizers than it is a full-on traditional meal. Fruit and veggie platters are always nice, and I can find recipes to whip up some other healthy bites. I could make a small cheese platter that way those who want it can have it and hopefully it will get wiped out fast. Dessert platters are a must. I can’t deprive my family of their favorite treats because I’m unable to control myself. What I can do is leave those platters in the kitchen out of my sight and send any leftovers out the door.

I think that’s doable. I can and will make it through the holidays without losing my grip.

Feelin' Stoked

In my new position at work I move up and down a lot. I’m literally getting paid to do squats all day long (well, squats and the work I’m doing while squatting). My legs are killing me. It hurts to even touch the tops of my thighs. It’s awesome!

When I got home I got sassy and cranked my treadmill up to a whopping 4 mph. I jogged until I felt like I was going to die from lack of oxygen. Fitspo assures me that my body isn’t giving out; my mind is, but I’m pretty sure my lungs gasping asthmatically were trying to tell me something.

Fitspo stick lady is incorrect.

It’s funny. I’ve got this total fitness mindset going now. I feel like I can conquer the world. It makes me forget that I’m still huge, completely out of shape, and need to take things slow.

I just hope this motivation lasts. As long as I stay pumped, I can do this. But when I have to rely on willpower, that’s when things go downhill. Real. Fast. A paperclip has more willpower than I do. I’m trying to build in safe guards, like routine, habit, vegan eating, meditation, and blogging, to keep me going even when motivation fails me. The problem is I haven’t been doing this long enough to have my routine feel like habit.

They say 21 days is all it takes to build a habit (I think they’re full of poo, but it sounds good at least). I’ve got a long way to go just to get to 21 days. But I’m going to make it. Then I’m going to make it to 42 days and beyond. A year from now I will be at least 80 pounds lighter.