Weigh In

I didn’t have time to write a post yesterday, but I did remember to step on the scales before I ate anything.

11/21/2013 - 235
11/28/2013 - 232.8

I did overeat some yesterday (Thanksgiving Day here in the US). It wasn’t a binge, I pushed my plate away before it was empty, and I said no to pumpkin pie, so all in all I feel pretty good about it. I even got a workout in.

I dialed back the intensity of my workouts a bit the past couple days. I was pushing myself a little too hard. Everyday I was dreading working out. It was getting harder and harder to make myself do it. I figured it was better to do less than push myself to a point of doing nothing. I did extend the length of my workout to compensate. And my husband gave me an early Christmas present, a weight machine. It’s so much fun. I’m using it every other day.

I’ve been eating mostly vegan. I’ve had some fat-free sour cream, and I don’t know how to get away from using light ranch dressing. I’m really picky about dressings. I don’t like the oil and/or vinegar ones. I also eat Morning Star Farms products. They’re vegetarian, but not vegan. They’re also obviously processed. I’d like to get away from relying on them, but they’re so convenient.

The thing that blows my mind is that I haven’t eaten cheese in three weeks. I’ve never met a cheese I didn’t like. I absolutely love it. I had it with every meal except, generally, breakfast. I thought going cheese-less would practically kill me, but aside from occasional cravings for cheese pizza, I don’t even miss it.

I’m pleased with my progress so far. I need to continue adding more fresh veggies to my diet. I’m not eating quite as many as I should. Besides that, I think I’m doing pretty well.

Weigh In

All in all this past week has gone well. I’ve had some “Sweet Jesus, please don’t put that in your mouth!” moments, but I’ve managed to avoid eating anything that is outside of my goals. Plus, I’ve increased the intensity of my workouts.

This week’s results:
11/14/13 - 236.4
11/21/2013 - 235

Part of me really wants to see this happen faster. However, I know from experience that faster isn’t better. I’ll take my 1.4 pound loss and count it as a victory. I’m making progress. That’s all that matters.

Weigh In

Going into this past week I made four rules:
1. No binge eating
2. No gross processed crap with zero nutritional value
3. No cheese
4. Exercise everyday

I’m proud to say I stuck to all of my goals. I figured #2 and #3 would kill me. I live on processed crap covered in cheese. I had to replace it with whole foods that require things like preparation and effort. It was weird.

I wasn’t concerned about portion sizes or starving myself between meals. If I felt hungry before dinner, I’d eat some nuts. At dinner if I wanted another plate of pasta or an extra serving of veggie bacon, I’d eat it. Weight loss, while I really, really want it, was not my goal this week. I’m more concerned with resetting my taste buds (imagine, food doesn’t have to be fatty or sugary to be edible) and making exercise a habit.

When I got on the scales this morning all I was hoping for was to have maintained, though I was a little scared I may have gained since I wasn’t overly careful about portions. Here’s what happened:

Last week: 241 lb
This week: 236.4 lb, waist 37.5"

I’m down 4.6 pounds! I’m so excited because, while I did make sacrifices, I don’t feel like I had to work that hard for it.

I’m not going to add more restrictions for this week. I want to settle into the changes I‘ve already made. Last night I felt pretty sad eating my steamed broccoli. I really wanted French fries, but I really want to be healthy. I can’t have both. I don’t want to make things so hard on myself that I crumble.

Going forward, my goal is to lose 1-2 pounds a week. I want to go slow because whenever I go fast it doesn’t last. Besides, I’ve got a lot of extra skin to shrink up. Hopefully going slow will help that along. The skin thing is something I’m trying not to think about, but it’s there in the back of my mind.

A photo of where I am as of today.

Hope everyone has a healthy, happy day!

Feelin' Stoked

In my new position at work I move up and down a lot. I’m literally getting paid to do squats all day long (well, squats and the work I’m doing while squatting). My legs are killing me. It hurts to even touch the tops of my thighs. It’s awesome!

When I got home I got sassy and cranked my treadmill up to a whopping 4 mph. I jogged until I felt like I was going to die from lack of oxygen. Fitspo assures me that my body isn’t giving out; my mind is, but I’m pretty sure my lungs gasping asthmatically were trying to tell me something.

Fitspo stick lady is incorrect.

It’s funny. I’ve got this total fitness mindset going now. I feel like I can conquer the world. It makes me forget that I’m still huge, completely out of shape, and need to take things slow.

I just hope this motivation lasts. As long as I stay pumped, I can do this. But when I have to rely on willpower, that’s when things go downhill. Real. Fast. A paperclip has more willpower than I do. I’m trying to build in safe guards, like routine, habit, vegan eating, meditation, and blogging, to keep me going even when motivation fails me. The problem is I haven’t been doing this long enough to have my routine feel like habit.

They say 21 days is all it takes to build a habit (I think they’re full of poo, but it sounds good at least). I’ve got a long way to go just to get to 21 days. But I’m going to make it. Then I’m going to make it to 42 days and beyond. A year from now I will be at least 80 pounds lighter.

Weight Loss Goals

I’ve read repeatedly that when losing weight it helps to have a picture in your mind of what your end result will look like as something to strive for. I’ve been fat for so long that it’s hard to imagine what my end result would look like. Within the past decade I was fat even at my thinnest. I know I’m not going to look like a fitspo picture (don’t even get me started on fitspo. That’s a whole other blog post.) I remember looking my best when I was 17, but that was 20 years ago. I don’t see that body ever happening again. I honestly don’t know what to hope for. And that’s what it is really, hope.

I can easily imagine the worst case scenario -- looking like a deflated sack of skin. I can’t as easily see what a healthy me looks like. I can’t even begin to guess what weight/size my end game is. According to weight charts, for my frame, I should weigh between 124-138. I’m not sure those numbers are even feasible for me. I mean, I want to be fit, but I also want to eat.

I guess the best approach is to take it in stages. Right now I’m a size 20 pushing into a 22. (All of my pants are super tight, but I told myself if I want new pants, they’re gonna be a size 18.) My next big goal is to get into a size 16. I know from experience that at a 16 I have enough of the fat off me that I begin to feel the fitness I’m working so hard to achieve. I might even get to start jogging again, just depends upon how much of my knee pain is current weight vs. permanent damage.

After I hit 16, I don’t know what the next big mile marker should be. I guess I’ll figure it out when I get there.